America, Dying.

Barack Obama is an angry man.

In this, he is just like all the other angry men in this country. They aren’t all black. There are a lot of white angry men, too. They aren’t all men. Many are women. There are a lot of angry women. They aren’t all young, either. There are a lot of angry old people. A whole big bunch of them.

I see it every day. Faces are tired. Tempers are short. Wrinkles are fast becoming a disease of epidemic proportions.

America had a choice in the last election. She could elect Neville Chamberlain the 2nd. Chamberlain was adept with words, making nations feel secure in the peace they could see, rather than uncomfortable with threats far away. He was good at talking to bad people and making bad people see the good in themselves and stick to their agreements. At least he was in 1938. Here’s what he said:

“How horrible, fantastic it is that we should be digging trenches and trying on gas-masks here because of a quarrel in a far away country between people of whom we know nothing. I am myself a man of peace from the depths of my soul”.

It sounded good. Neville Chamberlain the 2nd got his job.

It was a revolution in America in 2008. The people rose on the wings of anger. Anger at rich, fat cats such as Rick Wagoner of GM and Ken Lewis of Bank of America who had made a fortune by obviously never making any wise business decisions. Anger at oil-hungry politicians whose only goal was to wreck the future of the nation they put their lives on the line for when younger such as John McCain and George W. Bush. Anger at people who worked hard for what they have. Anger at people who didn’t wallow at the bottom in despair and covet the riches of others, but instead worked hard to become successes. Anger at people who would dare suggest that the federal government not provide for every need of its citizens, and cover for every mistake. Yes, it was truly a revolution. The “Yes We Can” revolution. The “Hope and Change” revolution.

Congratulations to the revolutionaries. They got what they wanted. They elected a revolutionary.

Only problem was, we never got to hear the end of that prepositional phrase, “Yes We Can.” Yes We Can what?

Elect a tyrant. That’s what. Revolutionaries are almost always tyrants. The leaders of the French Revolution were tyrants. The leaders of the Iranian Revolution were tyrants. And the leader (singular) of this Yes We Can Revolution is a tyrant.

Barack Obama played to his audience perfectly. In order to win American Idol, both the talent show and the real life version called Presidential Elections, you don’t have to be the best. Sure, you have to be mildly talented to pass the first few rounds and impress the judges. But who you really need to play to is the audience. The audience doesn’t care if you’re right, and they certainly don’t care if you’re the best. They care if you make them feel good. If you make them feel good, they will vote for you. Sounds like Hitler.

Barack Obama made people feel good. I mean, after all, who wouldn’t want to vote for a fresh, young, handsome face who uses nice words that don’t have any awkward gaps between them? There were just a few people in this country who were under the mistaken impression that we were voting for Best Looking Actor in a 60 Minutes piece.

Too bad. Because now we have an angry president, elected by angry people, who appoints an angry independent Latina for a lifetime, picks an angry muscleman to run his money, and gives angry speeches about torture by the last administration.

Because we all know a lot gets done on anger. Like bombings and stuff.